And what makes it worse is the fact that compared to a lot of you guys overseas in some fob I’m in a damn cushy situation. I feel guilty for even feeling this way when there are others that have much more serious problems. I’ve never been to combat I don’t have PTSD but I still feel like crap recently and I’m lost on what to do. I’ve been in the Guard for about a year and a half at an operational unit and really happy with my job. However, getting through the day especially when I’m on liberty is becoming harder. I just feel like there is nothing that makes me excited or happy or feel good like normal. I realize I felt this way when I realize that in the last two days I have only eaten two meals and one trying to figure out dinner today I simply couldn’t decide on what I wanted to cook for like two hours until I realize I simply didn’t want to eat anything. Nothing that I considered cooking made me feel excited or desire to eat. It’s been like this for months. I get home from liberty and nothing seems fun to do. I get bored whether I’m on Reddit or at a movie with taking a walk. I have no idea what to do with my spare time. I have tried looking for organizations to volunteer in but unfortunately nothing fits my schedule since I am at a search and rescue station and on a fireman schedule. Sounds really stupid and corny but I miss my family back home, I miss my fiancée who lives overseas and there seems no point in doing anything since I will be doing it alone.
What I’m trying to say is sometimes I wonder if I am depressed. There’s really no reason for me to be depressed. I have everything that I need, I enjoy my work at Station and in fact when I was there I don’t feel this way. I guess because I’m too busy working on completing the mission to worry about stupid things like this. However I’m starting to get worried at the fact that nothing seems fun or pleasurable anymore. Even drinking craft beer which was a hobby of mine feels like a chore now and I just drink to pass the time so I am probably going to stop. I know some people might recommend going to medical but honestly I’m scared of what the consequences could be. I really want to make a career out of the guard and I don’t want what might be a stupid phase to ruin my career.
I don’t know what I am looking for here I just have nobody to talk to. My family can’t help me and i don’t want my shipmates to think I’m going crazy or something. I want to go back to normal .
from Robert Haycroft RSS Feed https://www.reddit.com/r/Military/comments/6nkr5s/i_have_been_feeling_like_crap_and_i_dont_know_why/